The glass half full

A diagnosis of autism often feels like a death sentence when it's first given.  Your mind goes immediately to the fact that your life will never be the same, and there are so many things your child may never do.  It becomes overwhelming to try to determine what services will help your child and when and how soon you can get them, not to mention how the heck you're supposed to pay for all of this since it's usually not covered by insurance.  It would be so easy to be angry, to grieve and mourn what your child could have been, to be depressed over it all.

But take a different look at it.

You are blessed to have a child with such a unique way of seeing the world.  He or she can teach you about things you never even knew you needed to learn.  Only a child with a disorder such as autism can show you how differently the world appears to them.  Only a parent with a child who may or may not ever speak can appreciate so strongly the importance and joy of hearing their little one say "Mommy" or "I love you".  We learn patience, stubbornness, selflessness, hope, perseverance, and unconditional love.

If you can't look at those things as a blessing, then take this and chew on it for a while:  your child has autism, which is pretty much never life threatening (unless your child has comorbid symptoms which prevent them from taking nutrition or something like that).  Imagine that diagnosis of autism and how scared you were when you got it.  Now imagine if that diagnosis were one of leukemia or some other deadly childhood illness.  The likelihood of your child "coping" with or overcoming such a terrible disease is often slim.  You must watch them suffer as they go through painful treatments, and are in and out of hospitals.  Some parents even have to watch their child die.  I can't imagine the helplessness I would feel if Aidan had been diagnosed with a childhood cancer.  It's my job to protect him.  I yell at principals and teachers who I don't feel are doing their best to help him.  But what if the doctors ARE doing their best and it's still not enough?  Who do you yell at then?  At least with a diagnosis of autism, I know my child is healthy, and for now happy.  I can help him to be happy by making sure he learns to overcome his diagnosis, learns to live above and around it rather than just live with it.  I can teach him to not let it control his life and keep him from doing things he wants to do.  I never have to be afraid of dreaming and hoping with him.

Take stock of your blessings... often times they are more significant than you realize.  You were chosen to be part of an amazing miracle, and to be worthy of raising such a special child.

If you aren't the parent of a child with autism, I still encourage you to count your blessings.  It's so easy to be cynical and to think about how crappy life is, especially now when the economy is bad and times are tough.  But look at all you do have!  Did you wake up this morning?  Did you have a roof over your head?  Did you have food to eat and clothes to get dressed?  What else do you have that you take for granted?  A loving and supportive relationship with your family?  Great friends who would come get you if your car broke down at 4am?  A job that may not be your favorite but at least pays your bills?  Life changes drastically when you look at what you have instead of what you don't.