How you can help:

This is an article pulled from a magazine called The Autism File about how grandparents of children with autism can help their kids to deal with the diagnosis. Original author is Shannon Johnson in the July issue. Of course, anyone who knows someone with an autistic child should take this to heart. Just insert your name as needed.

• Listen - without answers or solutions - just be there.
• Provide meals, especially while the parents grieve, process, and plan.
• Take the child or children often in order to give the parents respite and the kids a good dose of what only a grandparent (or aunt, uncle, or best friend's mommy, or mommy's best friend) has to offer.
• Learn to cook new food if there is a special diet involved, and always have plenty of "legal" food on hand.
• Be supportive. A parent is going to do anything they can to help their child grow and develop. You may not agree, but be patient and let the parents sort it all out. Take pictures at therapeutic horseback riding lessons and join in the Floortime interactions.
• Get online. Join an autism community and get to know other families and other grandparents.
• Put on your sneakers and sign up for that neighborhood walk-a-thon. Raising funds and awareness is just another way to love your family well.
• Keep your opinions to yourself (unless solicited*). Autism isn't caused by too much television or a broccoli deficiency. Children are not disciplined out of autism, and beneficial therapies involve more than "a little tough love" or a spank on the bum. Those kinds of comments will only build walls between you and your children.
• Carry over in your home, as best as possible, the treatments that the parents are using at home. For example, if the parents are ignoring a behavior rather than bringing attention to it, do the same. A consistent environment enhances good teaching.
• Ask what you can do that will help. Sometimes the answer will be "Just give us some space." Sometimes the answer might be "Please come soon." Be respectful of the parents as they ride the waves of emotion that come with such a diagnosis.
• Be available to accompany the parents on doctor visits and other such meetings. Children are often required to be at these meetings, but their attention span is short and having you there to entertain and interact with them will give the parents the ability and freedom to attend to the professional without distraction.
• Allow yourself to love in a new and bigger way. This journey may shake your family to the core, but there is a rare joy and a rich reward when you love someone with autism with all your heart.

*my addendum